doodling

i'm not particularly good at drawing but i do like doodling.
if i've got some blank sheets, i just can leave it neatly.
all the time i scribble something on the parper
sometimes it can be a descriptive composition
or reflects my mind so that someone even can read what's inside me.
anyway i decided drwaing or doodling for fun and for myself.
it's another way to record my days and observe myself.
it can be delayed
but there's no problem
cuz i do for my own good.

3days sub-teacher

sometimes it's easier to talk to the strangers.
i would be able to smile more being kind.

i've been a sub-teacher for 3days at YBM. nothing's been difficult because i used to work there and the class i was in charge was so nice. there were 6 students, Erin/Karl/Pascal/Jessica/Trent/James. most were eager to learn korean and they helped each other get understood better which was very motivating.

last thursday, during break time they asked me to go down to grap coffee. i wasn't that hungry so said no for donuts. Trent asked me two times and said that he always had to ask korean people to get them something. i didn't mean that but was being a typical korean like those who say "oh no, it's ok! i'm not hungry! i don't need coffee!" something. but i had coffee and it was, automatically, on him, haha.

i taught them only for 3days. today after class they were going to have lunch together and i had nothing to do, so joined them. i met Phavel(not sure if it's correct spelling...never wrote his name.) by chance and took him together for lunch. the intersting thing is most foreigners easily get along and become friends very quickly. we have honorific terms in our language and are very conscious about age or position things, so it's quite hard to become a 'friend' when we first meet. it wouldn't be only in western culture. i remember that i was surprised by philipinos huge hospitality and friendliness when they encounter a total stranger.

they mostly spoke in english and tried in korean some part of their conversation but it wasn't that easy. I linstened to them and talked to them in korean then they try speaking korean once again. we may meet some time if they go on studying there. i was only sub for 3days and we hardly know each other, but it was very comfortable and i was able to adjust myself very well. i'm writing this kind of for thanking them for enjoying my class...i feel so.
-_-;;;

since long

wow.
almost five months since I haven't kept my diary here.
haven't been off for a trip to the Philippines,
but it's not a good excuse to explain my lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzziness.
it's hectic how everybody gets by every single day.
probably i'm rather idle (doing some things though)
and being an extra in my life these days.
busy moments and got to keep them recorded.
for my own good.

autumn's on the way.

"quotation mark"

around the end of the day, i try to think back on the day that has become 'past' just a minute ago. i admire those who can put their utterances into "quotation marks" since i can hardly think of a word which i uttered in order to communicate with others whole day.

it's strange. really. i taught 4 hours trying to be a loyal(don't know, if it's appropriate. haha) teacher and to talk less than students, but listening more. there must have been plenty of interactions and breakdowns. however, when it comes to the "(DOUBLE) quotation marks", i can't pick up any of it.
maybe i'm just trying to recall what i've done everyday and want to record what i say, share and communicate with others. or just want to catch some of my uttered inner myself. yeah, i can say it'd be that. so many '(SINGLE) quotation marks' inside me. i'm not even able to take them back though, can grasp what my feelings were on my way home and when i walked down to the subway station. nobody knows but my (little) quotation marks know.

yeah.
everybody wants to show how they feel and,
perhaps, they're screaming silently wanting people to discover the hidden meanings beyond Double quotation marks.

wierd thinker, aren't i?
(-_-)

time to go to bed,

"night night"

itching back

my back itched
i wished someone would scratch my back
all of a sudden
i wished i was married.

it's funny though it made me be engrossed in the thoughts about marriage.
i don't see that through rose-coloured spectacles.
marriage is the reality and nobody can keep out of it.
but, so far, it's probably because i'm not married,
i think marriage should be filled with some kind of fantasy and puerility.

i can remember how i was unrelistic and stucked into the illusion of 'happily ever after' when i used to go out with my ex. every tiny imagination such as what kind of house we'll live, how many kids we'll have, where we'll travel together, what we'll do at on weekend and so on and on and on...i've got so many doodlings and life plans about such a wild dream. it's been all over now but i'm still happy that i used to care (maybe TOO MUCH) about 'WE' things.
every single thing was represented by WE, that lovely plural thing.
even though some part of the last relationship's regretful, i can smile to think of myself who used to play a role of 'Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde'. hahaha. i mean multiple personality, not like an illness, but someone who changes herself while in love. i can hardly say that i'm able to be like that someday, somehow. (wish that day'd come soon, though. haha)

fantasy's made by those who fall for each other.
it's not a matter of how deep their love is, how tough the real life is, how 'our own' love is precious than others'. perhaps, marriage's very simple thing. therefore, shouldn't be anxious too much, nor regard as hard/difficult/complex thing. it'd be easy. i want someone who is closest to me and able to scratch my back when i'm itch.

thanks, dear spring

thankful saturday morning with Selenge & Jumpon. my morning in Sinchon began at 10.40, it was already lively there. middle-aged hikers were busy taking a picture and mommy took their kids for an early picnic in univ.

petal of the snow.

fragile blossoms that are ready to breathe.

it was really hard to resist the feeling like having a trip to suburb this afternoon. such a warm & bright moment it was.

cool breeze once in a while,

wish you were here with me watching the flowers grow...

i'd rather believe you feel my heart somewhere.

ingat ka, mahal ko.

spring's all around

white and pink petals were floating in the warm breeze everywhere in the school. the hand of the clock was pointing to about 3 when i headed for the classroom. lots of university students were gathering near the big cherry blossom trees.

everybody seemed frantic about taking a picture as if they waited for spring so eagerly. bright smile's on everyone's face and petals were occasionaly blowing away.
my ears were full of Corinne Bailey Rae and i could grin just only watching excited crowds over there. i thought of bring my camera this saturday and taking some pics when it's not so crowded. i think myself pretending to ignore this such a lovely spring that i feel after the long long summer in manila. last winter was really cold and i missed warm weather. spring's here but i rather seem like losing presence of mind.

not really hectic but i feel like i'm kind of, funny to tell though, obssessed with thoughts like walking faster, reading one more line, falling asleep grabbing the book in my hand, following up the lecture, being a good teacher etc. etc. it just means that i'm trying to play my part, and also means i've forgotten to stop by for a while for very delightful moments under the tree.
spring's all around and everybody's making a silent scream.

shouldn't i join them, haha.
hope there'll be a mild wind blowing this coming saturday morning.