my back itched
i wished someone would scratch my back
all of a sudden
i wished i was married.
it's funny though it made me be engrossed in the thoughts about marriage.
i don't see that through rose-coloured spectacles.
marriage is the reality and nobody can keep out of it.
but, so far, it's probably because i'm not married,
i think marriage should be filled with some kind of fantasy and puerility.
i can remember how i was unrelistic and stucked into the illusion of 'happily ever after' when i used to go out with my ex. every tiny imagination such as what kind of house we'll live, how many kids we'll have, where we'll travel together, what we'll do at on weekend and so on and on and on...i've got so many doodlings and life plans about such a wild dream. it's been all over now but i'm still happy that i used to care (maybe TOO MUCH) about 'WE' things.
every single thing was represented by WE, that lovely plural thing.
even though some part of the last relationship's regretful, i can smile to think of myself who used to play a role of 'Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde'. hahaha. i mean multiple personality, not like an illness, but someone who changes herself while in love. i can hardly say that i'm able to be like that someday, somehow. (wish that day'd come soon, though. haha)
fantasy's made by those who fall for each other.
it's not a matter of how deep their love is, how tough the real life is, how 'our own' love is precious than others'. perhaps, marriage's very simple thing. therefore, shouldn't be anxious too much, nor regard as hard/difficult/complex thing. it'd be easy. i want someone who is closest to me and able to scratch my back when i'm itch.
댓글 1개:
i LOVE this post. i love the beginning and how it's such a simple need that CAN be met by a simple solution such as marriage. i think the most complicated part of marriage is learning to give up one's self... to die to yourself every day. but even that becomes easy in light of the person whom you love even MORE than yourself.
i am praying for you miya, that you will meet someone beautiful and strong, someone who you recognize RIGHT AWAY as the man you've been waiting for, and someone who makes love a VERY EASY thing to achieve. i am so glad i met you!!! emily.
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